uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
