i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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