just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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