Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
