The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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