I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
