Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
