tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
