I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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