how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
They took my balls.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
