Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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