umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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