just tell him i said nine months
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
