...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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