I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
one might say we're banned from that church
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
