Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
