NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
