He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
