I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
