I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
