There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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