i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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