either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
