Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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