she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
