I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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