I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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