we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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