I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
