Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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