So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
