bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
