I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Buhtt sex?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
