Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
