im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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