i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
