he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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