so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
