Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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