wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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