i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
