Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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