after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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