Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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