I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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