belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
