Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
