JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
