New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
We smell like vodka and hangover
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
