i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
